if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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