my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
