when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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