I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
