I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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