they need to just BURY HIM!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
