My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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