well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's blow job season.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
