Im at strip club and am horny
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
