Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
