he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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