I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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