the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize