i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize