Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
