Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
