I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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