I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
