Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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