shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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