just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
