She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
