It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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