the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
