it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize