We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
