What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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