just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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