do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
