I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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