haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Fuck appropriateness.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize