"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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