we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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