i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
