Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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