so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
