That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
