i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
