i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
