She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
