So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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