my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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