its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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