I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my vagina is haunted
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
nutella sex= disaster
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
