we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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