Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
