M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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