it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize