The best revenge is premature balding
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
