After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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