I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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