i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's get the cat blown out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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