Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
