We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
