he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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