You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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