whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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