He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
