I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
