i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
2020 sucks, I want a refund
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
